Resolve to Manage Your Anger
RAMBLINGS from Connor’s dad – Kris and I are up in Lynchburg visiting Connor for two nights. As the time grew closer to come up, he let his mom know the food he wanted to eat away from campus while we were here. He thoroughly enjoyed the first place, R.A.’s, last night.
He is our wonderful first born. Our compassionate, sympathetic, empathetic, kind to the young and elderly alike, with full intentions of going to medical school so he can help people, Connor, had a problem with hitting other kids when he was little. His temper would get the better of him and swinging fists would soon follow.
Connor at the ripe old age of 4, got kicked out of a Mother’s Day Out program. (It was a church run program where Kris could drop him off one morning a week for a few hours, and run errands, while he played with other kids.) Kris was so mortified that she seriously considered relocating us to the other side of the country and changing our names to McGillacutty. It was a difficult time as we struggled with Connor and his desire to make things better with his fists.
Somewhere out of left field Kris got an idea. Connor was typically moved to the “laying on of hands” when another child took something he was playing with, or mindlessly knocked over the dominos he was playing with because they wanted to. Kris had this revelation. When Connor wanted to hit a child, sometimes rightfully so, she taught him to hold his hands together, look at the offending domino knocker-overer, and say “I will not hit you!” Over time he was able to regain control of his emotions by clutching those hands together, and saying those words. (He also had fewer dominos knocked over.)
To this day, seldom will you see Connor lose his temper. I have to admit most of the time now it is righteous anger over injustices he sees taking place in our country or world. Is he perfect? Nope. He was telling us last night about how one of his roommates drives him crazy using a blowdryer before his 8:00 a.m. class, when Connor’s first one is 11. Ok, on that one I don’t have a good fix other then Connor getting up walking over to his clueless roommate and with clutched fists screaming in his ears, “I WILL NOT HIT YOU!”.
What we did learn from that exercise is that a very immature child who finds being selfish very natural was able to better control his temper. Shouldn’t we be ably to do the same?….
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7)